At Your Own Risk

Cherry Coke Is Hardcore.

April 28, 2006

Candy is Sweet

The Jeff Tournament of Jeffs final will take place early next week.

For today here's a list of my top 5 candies of all time:

5. Jelly tots: Rock sugar covering drops of fruit flavoured Jelly, no longer available, but a childhood favorite.

4. Clodhoppers: Stupid damn Nova Scotia original candy is too damned addictive.

3. Brownie Bear Cookies: These are English chocolate covered digestive biscuits. I don't know what makes them better than the Canadian version, but they are.

2. Chipoppities: Mini chocolate chip cookies sold as a candy bar. They haven't been available for nigh on 20 years, but mini Chips Ahoy! are no substitute.

1. King Size Kit Kat Bars: I have a serious issue with these, as if I buy one, it must be eaten right away, I can't even get the damn thing home. Hence why I buy them so rarely.

April 27, 2006

Jeff Tournament of Jeffs Round 6

Return of the Jeffi

Okay, that joke sucked.

The second semi final pits comedian Jeff Foxworthy vs. NWA:TNA Superstar Jeff Hardy

Most General Knowledge: Hardy
Most General Knowledge about inbreeding: Foxworthy
Cooks A Mean Possum: Foxworthy
Serves up a healthy portion of Whoopins': Hardy
More Brain cells: Hardy
Less Brain Cells Lost being put through a table: Foxworthy
More brain cells to lose: Hardy
Less freaky: Foxworthy
Less freaky-smelling: Hardy
Has never told a joke about inbreeding relating to personal experience on stage: Hardy

There you have it, Hardy wins semi-final #2 6-4 over Foxworthy.

The finals are set:

Jeff Beck Vs. Jeff Hardy

Stay tuned!

April 25, 2006

Jeff Tournament of Jeffs Round 5

The Jeffpire Strikes Back

Ooooooh Semi-Final time

Semi-Final #1 pits NASCAR Racer Jeff Gordon against Blues Guitarist, Jeff Beck.

Contracted fewer STDs: Gordon
Contracted fewer STDs from immediate family members: Beck
Last name also a beer: Beck
Last name also a character on Sesame Street: Gordon
More points left on driver's license: Beck
Less likely to experience "helmet head":Beck
Endorses UAP NAPA: Gordon
Least knuckle hair: Beck
Played in the Yardbirds: Beck
Shoots his yard birds: Gordon

We have our first finalist, Blues Guitarist Jeff Beck, as he defeats NASCAR Racer Jeff Gordon.

Stay Tuned for Semi-Final #2 as Comedian Jeff Foxworthy takes on NWA:TNA Superstar Jeff Hardy