At Your Own Risk

Cherry Coke Is Hardcore.

March 14, 2006

Laws of the Jeffdom

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If I had my own country, which I would call the Gentle Jeffdom, these would be some of the laws.

1. Users of recreational drugs would be given free lobodamies. That way, they'd be stoned all the time with no drugs, and the crime rate would be very low.

2. If you murder someone, you better run, boy. (Unless that someone is Don Henly.)

3. All music in the Jeffdom must be pre-appoved by me. So long Faith Hill, Celine Dion, Ricky Martin, Kenny G.

4. The King of Kensington Is Extra-super-duper banned for being crappy. (Screw you Waxman!)

5. All television shows must abstain from using the phrase "Talk to the Hand"

6. All people must abstain for using the phrase "Talk to the Hand"

7. All employees of the Jeffdom must wear Cowboy hats, and have their name legally changed to "Allan the Cowboy" for accounting purposes.

8. Parents are required to not name their children after soft drinks.

9. Kids will be taught Advanced Weaseling Out of Things in High School.

10. Anyone cuaght Breaking and Entering will be forced to watch every episode of Full House 1000 times while strapped into a dentist's chair.

1 Comments:

  • At 8:57 p.m., Blogger wiggie said…

    When can I get my visa? I'll just pack of the family; me, Jody, and my wonderful son, MountainDewCodeRed...*checks rules again* OH DAMN IT!

     

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