At Your Own Risk

Cherry Coke Is Hardcore.

February 04, 2006


My favorite toy as a child was my Man-E-Faces He-Man action figure. Man-E-Faces was a regular guy who could change between Robot, Monster, and human, with the use of a dial on his head. Here now, is my free verse poem about Man-E-Faces.

Oh, Man-E-Faces
You have so many faces
Three to be exact
Though you were never one who could be reduced to a number.

First there is your Robot face
Cold, and uncaring
Like a Math teacher announcing to the class that I've failed my final exam
Though passed the course
heartless and logical
cling, clang, bang!
Death, to the undead

Then there is your green monster side
A precursor to BeBop and to a lesser extent
Green, with huge lower fangs
Like a young Liz Taylor
Only, with fewer husbands

Finally your human side
Filled with passion in the defense of castle Greyskull
Passion which could only occasionally be contained
With a snickers and grape crush

Once, i dropped you in lake Walaback
And in fear that I had killed you
I turned the dial furiously,
Like a hamster trying to escape on a steel wheel
But, you were not dead, you were fine
You were the reliable one
Not like Moss Man

Moss Man whom was ruined with Mattel He-Man brand slime
Slime which contained the warning
"Do not use on Moss Man"
But I did use on Moss Man
And He was ruined
Oh, Mattel, why do you taunt me with dares
Disguised as warnings
Damn you Mattel!
Damn Moss Man, too
You were never even on the He Man and the Masters of the Universe serial
So who needs you?
You substandard piece of crap
Who needs Moss Man?
When I have........



  • At 2:24 p.m., Blogger wiggie said…

    can't..stop...crying...tears...of jealousy...that you had Men-E-Faces..and I only had...Beast Man, Mer-Man, Man at Arms, Hordak (who sucked), the leach faced guy, Fakor, Skeletor, Normal He-Man, and the He-Man with the chest you could hit and show damage, and of course, the greatest of all...Clawful.
    Todd had the skunk guy, but I don't think he made any real stink...that sucks. Oh, and I had the lizard guy who stuck his tongue out. THe tongue eventually broke.


Post a Comment

<< Home