At Your Own Risk

Cherry Coke Is Hardcore.

August 05, 2005

The Un-Tourist

I just keep thinking that Sweeden would be a sweet country. If it wasn't cold and depressing. Which it is, just like Fresca. It's cold because it's a fizzy drink. It's depressing because it tastes like crap.


August 04, 2005

The essence of a gentleman is knowing when not to pick your nose.

Sitting here at work on hold for accounts receivable, I'm trying to figure out why americans that hail from areas with naturally occuring ice don't like hockey.

A few theories:

Not enough Michael Jackson?

Not enough Splosions?

Lack of mud wrestling?

Players can't be voted off the island?

Not refereed by Paris Hilton?

You don't get to see what goes on in the ER afterwards?

Some possible solutions:

Pucks explode randomly

Game played in mud, If a goalie lets in a goal he's crushed by bigfoot.

MJ at every game.

On ice ER

That's it for me


August 01, 2005

My friend Wiggie

Sounds like the title of a really bad movie, like Rain Man with more whoopins'.....Far more whoopins.

As I sit here at work listening to Journey on a not very busy holiday, I think back on times when I used to write all the time. Now, as you can see from the postings, it's infrequently. However I still have thoughts and insights that would make you head spin.

I don't care how many times they put that stupid echo commercial on the air, you still can't fit a whole damn pit crew in the trunk. Seriously

Drew Carey made being a drunk cool, now Justin Timberlake makes being a sissy cool.

I wish they would put nougat in more things, I wish my pencil's eraser was made of nougat. Then it would make more sencse that I ate it.

The mayor of every town should be a dog. The town charters should be accordingly adjusted to read: Woof, woof, woof, woof.

It would then be made illegal for people to urinate on fire hydrants. Wait, it already is.....lousy democrats.

If Bill Clinton were a color, I'd be drunk.

Leprechaun 2 was far more entertaining than World War II.

Tennis is the best sport to play, except for droolgate. That's a sport I invented where people lie on the couch watching infomercials, and compete for the biggest puddle of drool.

There should be a show about boogers. I'd call it Leave it to Booger, or Seinbooger though.

My page is very, very green