At Your Own Risk

Cherry Coke Is Hardcore.

October 22, 2005

50 Worst Songs, continued

11. MacArthur Park - Richard Harris - You know, I don't really understand how or why someone left the cake out in the rain, but they didn't leave the recipie out in the rain. how'd he lose it. Not that I care. Ah, fuck this song.

12. Kokomo - Beach Boys - Were the Beach Boys trying to kill Brian Wilson with this track released while he was in a mental institution. If they were it backfired, he's still alive and singer Carl Wilson has since passed on. Without Brian, Carl would have been the before picture in weight loss ads.

13. Breathe - Faith Hill - Boy, Faith Hill again. If I could retitle this drivel I would retitle it "Music that destroys every last shred of hope I had for humanity."

14. Step by Step - NKOTB - These guys once claimed to be bigger than the Beatles. The other day I went to a full serve gas station, and Danny Wood pumped my gas. Seriously. I, uh, don't see Paul McCartney pumping gas.

15. The Last Worthless Evening - Don Henley - Don, seriously. You're tempting me to make it the last worthless evening YOU'VE ever had.

16. Ironic - Alanis Morrisette - You know what's ironic? Someone writing a song about irony without knowing what irony is.

17. Drops of Jupiter - Train - Train's official band motto is: There's no I in SUCK.

18. Which Way You Going, Billy? - The Poppy family - If Billy was smart he'd be on a flight to Kenya. Where they've never heard this crappy song.

19. Circle of Life - Elton John - At one time, Elton John could write some decent songs. This song is crap. Hella-crap.

20. I Believe I Can Fly - R. Kelly - This song sucks. I Believe he can tape himself peeing in a 14 year old girl's mouth. How........inspirational. Incidentally, he's the only pop star ever to say "Only Osama Bin Laden knows how I feel". You know, even Bin Laden thinks is sick you peed in a 14 year old girl's mouth.


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