At Your Own Risk

Cherry Coke Is Hardcore.

September 03, 2005

Wondering where the Lions are

So, I was talking to my father last night, and he pointed out that he was very afraid of lions. He provided some very compelling reasons for being afraid of lions. So compelling that I am now afraid of lions. This seems a tad irrational as I don't think I'll ever run into one, say, bowling. Nonetheless I've come up with a foolproof strategy for escaping from ferocious lions.

Step 1: Try reasoning with the lion. Explain to the lion that you don't taste good.

Step 2: When step one fails, scan all Meatloaf lyrics for any advice that may help with your situation.

Step 3: Realise Meatloaf never wrote a song about escaping from lions.

Step4: Try reverse psycology on the lion, slather yourself in BBQ sauce.

Step 5: Run really fast.

Step 6: Take out pocket radio before lion cathes you, increase volume to 10 and press play.

Step 7: Laugh as the lion runs from the terrible John Tesh music coming from your pocket radio

Step 8: Stop luaghing, start to get really annoyed by terrible Kenny G music coming from your pocket radio.

Step 9: Debate pros and cons

Step 10: Decide that listening to John Tesh music is worse than being lion food.

Step 11: Turn off pocket radio.

Step 12: See step 1.


  • At 1:43 p.m., Blogger wiggie said…

    This brings up a good point that I get to watch BC Lions games on television down here. But the production values look like a high school game. What's up with CBC?


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