At Your Own Risk

Cherry Coke Is Hardcore.

September 19, 2005

Well I Wish

I was a catfish
Swimmin' in the whole
Deep Blue Sea

Well, currently I'd be swimming in the toxic soup filling what used to be New Orleans, so maybe that's not such a good idea.

So, Wiggie's work burned down and I can't help feeling...jealous

Not just jealous of the Money for Nothin' unemployment heques that will be forthcoming, but also of the job that involved very little customer service. The worst part of a customer service job is ........customer service. The data entry is just super.

My customer service experience has given me a recurrent vocabulary which is not beneficial in certain life situations. This vocabulary revolves around such phrases as "I can certainly assist you with that." and other phrases of the same ilk.

The following is a life situation made worse by my work vocabulary, Gentleman Jeff gets mugged:

Mugger (holding gun): All right give me your money.

Gentleman Jeff: I can certainly assist you with that. But first, could I get your home phone numebr beginning with the area code.

Mugger: What the hell is wrong with you? I have a gun!

Gentleman Jeff: Well that's as may be but I cannot proceed with this transaction without the proper verification.

Mugger: Listen give me your money or I'll shoot you.

Gentleman Jeff: I'd be happy to give you my money, but we need to start with your home phone number.

*several gunshot wounds to the chest later, Jeff lies on the groun mugger is walking away*

Gentleman Jeff: Before you go is there anything else that I can assist you with?

Mugger: Shut up!

Gentleman Jeff: Thank you for robbing Gentleman Jeff and I hope you enjoy your day.

*GJ dies*

See, this really is a dead end job.


  • At 9:53 a.m., Blogger wiggie said…

    You need to write a DS episode around you being customer service nice/oblivious to people. It's GOLD.

  • At 12:17 a.m., Blogger PHRED said…


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